A Commonplace Book

Voice Over, The Stranger [Sam Elliott]: Now this story I'm about to unfold took place back in the early nineties-- just about the time of our conflict with Sad'm and the Eye-rackies. I only mention it 'cause some- times there's a man--I won't say a hee-ro, 'cause what's a hee-ro?--but sometimes there's a man. And I'm talkin' about the Dude here-- sometimes there's a man who, wal, he's the man for his time'n place, he fits right in there--and that's the Dude, in Los Angeles. ...and even if he's a lazy man, and the Dude was certainly that--quite possibly the laziest in Los Angeles County. ...which would place him high in the runnin' for laziest worldwide--but sometimes there's a man. . . sometimes there's a man. Wal, I lost m'train of thought here. But--aw hell, I done innerduced him enough.

The Dude [Jeff Bridges]: I -- the royal we, you know, the editorial -- I dropped off the money, exactly as per -- Look, I've got certain information, certain things have come to light, and uh, has it ever occurred to you, man, that given the nature of all this new shit, that, uh, instead of running around blaming me, that this whole thing might just be, not, you know, not just such a simple, but uh -- you know?

Dude When will you find these guys? I mean, do you have any promising leads?
[The policeman laughs, agreeing broadly.]
Policeman Leads, yeah. I'll just check with the boys down at the Crime Lab. They've assigned four more detectives to the case, got us working in shifts.

So he says "My wife's a pain in the ass. She's always busting my friggin' agates, my daughter's married to a jadrool loser bastard, and I got a rash so bad on my ass, I can't even sit down. But you know me. I can't complain."